First of all, I would like to give all the glory and honor and praise to Jesus Christ our Lord.
And I want to express my appreciation to the team members from abroad.
During MPC, I experienced their humbleness, love to the others and readiness to listen and to pray for those in need.
I struggled with unforgiveness and my sense of being. I thought I forgave the one who rejected and offended me. But in my heart, deep inside of my heart, there was sorrow, anger, bitterness, blame, resentment, and fear all mixed up together bothering me and accusing me telling that I was a victim and rejected.
Through the praising songs, lectures, testimonies, and prayer times, God was working in and clearing out my heart and mind day by day. When I cried out to God during prayer time, He cried with me and for me. He hates sin but loves to forgive when we truly repent of our sins. He wants us to live freely indeed. He reminded me that I was born again and I am a child of God.
With God’s love and acceptance, I decided to accept myself as I am. And I recognized and admitted that I also had sinned when I got hurt. I thought I had the right to accuse and mock the one who had sinned against me. God showed me what to repent of. I named my sins: bitterness and resentment and my victim spirit. I brought my sins to Jesus on the cross, repented and gave all my sin to Him. I received forgiveness. And with my will and God’s will together, I could forgive. Remembering His forgiveness and love that I had received, I decided to forgive and proclaimed forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a process. It takes time. I need patience and God’s love and help. I will keep repenting and crying out to God whenever my bitterness and resentment arise in me. I will choose life, and I will choose to forgive.
Through the healing prayer of memories, God kept showing me what was sin and what was truth. He showed His Love for me, His Grace for me, His mercy for me. Repentance and receiving forgiveness and forgiving others and accepting myself truly make my life new and filled with God’s presence and His love.
Painting: de Vos, 16thC, Calvary [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons